nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
