nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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