I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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