How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
