he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
