Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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