Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
