third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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