its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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