hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
