Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
