Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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