life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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