Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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