I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
