there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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