If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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