She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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