Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
