i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
