Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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