I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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