yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
