why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
