I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
