apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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