chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
