Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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