she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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