So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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