the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
