So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
