The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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