well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
