oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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