We won't sleep together?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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