I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
