just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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