just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just pynch a tree in the face
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
A bitchslap is in order.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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