Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
