And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
vagina is talking i cant
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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