People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
