dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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