Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
