im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
