so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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