Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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