I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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