No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
