And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
