You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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