Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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